Posted by: forfreedomalone | 26/09/2013

New Name

Words in their various forms and effects are the theme of the month in my head, so I was working on a piece about words when I was interrupted by a conversation with someone who told me that God had a new name for me.

Really? Why? What’s wrong with the name I have?
I know my name was chosen for me by God when I was born, because my parents had a different name chosen, but, for some reason he could never explain, my father changed it when he went to register my birth.
My name means “The Gentle Spirit, Daughter of Grace”. I didn’t want a new name!

However, I knew this person to be a man of God, so I listened. What is this new name then? It must be good if it is better than what I have now because God does not give things to us which are worse than we have now.
“Your new name is Beloved”, he said and my heart sank. What? Beloved? Is that it?

Every man and his dog is calling themselves that nowadays, I don’t want that name!!
But I was too well brought up to be rude, so I thanked him and we went our separate ways.
“Beloved” is what God called Jesus when the Spirit fell upon him on the banks of the Jordan. Paul addressed believers as “beloved”, Timothy did, Peter did, the writer to the Hebrews did. It means “much loved, esteemed, favoured” and it is a compliment; but you would have thought it was an insult if you could have been in my heart at that moment. I was hurt and angry.

I took myself off to be quiet and said to God, “Father, “Beloved” is what you called Jesus. I am not Jesus. I know you love me as you love him, but I am NOT him. I don’t want to be called “Beloved”. I don’t want to be rude to you, but I don’t like it and I don’t want it, couldn’t I have another name, please?”
“Why don’t you like it?” he asked me.
I had to think about that. I was already making, and was about to continue making, self righteous noises about not being worthy to be called by the special name he used for Jesus, but something in me said “nope, that not it”, so I thought for a bit.

Then it hit me. When I was little I never felt that anyone saw me, no one understood me, I was not noticed for ME, only for my behaviour. This has been a recurring cry in my life, “You don’t SEE ME”.
“Beloved” was what he called everyone, we are all loved and favoured; being called this just made me one of the crowd. It was not special. He didn’t see ME.

As soon as this revelation hit me I saw my Father take my face in his hand and turn my head to look at him. I was disappointed and feeling rejected, but when I looked into his eyes I saw SO much love I nearly melted. “What have I already called you?” he asked.

“The Gentle Spirit, Daughter of Grace”, I said.
He shook his head, “Your other name?”. I just looked at him. Then he brought back two memories.

I was at an event and was separated from my husband, who was speaking to people on the other side of the room. I was just wandering about people watching when this couple came up to me and he said “You are the most beautiful woman in the room. We have been watching you all evening and you are SO beautiful, it is breathtaking”. Well, what do you say to THAT!?

A few years later I was at a conference and had to speak to the woman speaker. I waited my turn and as she turned around to speak to me she gasped and said “Oh my God!!! You are SO beautiful, you have Jesus written all over you!”.

“Remember?”. I nodded.
“That is my name for you, you are my beautiful daughter”.

“Beautiful”, now that is a name I can handle. For the rest of the day he has been leading me to things I regard as beautiful and as I look at them and feel their beauty, he is saying “That is how I feel when I look at you”. He thinks I am beautiful!!

Now, in the natural, I am not beautiful. I may look better than a dog’s dinner, but I am not what the world calls beautiful; but my Father says I am. I FEEL what ‘beautiful’ means to him when he says it. It is an “inside out” thing, not a skin thing. It is not a name to get me to respond in some way, it is how he FEELS about me.

I am not sure if you understand what I am saying, as it is hard to communicate, but the beauty he sees in me, is his son. I have Jesus written all over me. Of course I do, his spirit is within me; he is in me and I am in him. When my father looks at me he sees me as beautiful, because I have been made beautiful on the inside and that is all he looks on.

If you are in Christ, you are, without doubt a “beloved”, but maybe he has another name for you which will resonate with your heart and no one else’s. Ask him. You may be in for a real treat.

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