Posted by: forfreedomalone | 22/03/2015

Shame

SHAME

Shame is the deep and abiding thoughts or feelings that we are somehow wrong, defective, inadequate or not good enough.  Shame is not linked to what we do, but to who we are. It may be triggered by something we do, but it is deeper and more abiding than guilt, which is what we feel when we do something wrong.

There is no psychological remedy for shame. It cannot be borne; it cannot be removed; so it must be buried.  Shame is a torture on the deepest level, which twists and turns to keep a deep and lasting hold on its victim.

Shame tells us that we are unlovable and that we are unfit to be allowed to interact with others who are healthy emotionally; to wit, everyone else on the planet.

Shame manifests as shyness, self-consciousness, embarrassment, discouragement and inferiority, to name but a few.
It creates co-dependence, controlling, ridged and perfectionistic behaviour.
It destroys careers, marriages and lives.

Shame’s roots are not only deep within a person, but also within humanity itself.

In the garden Adam and Eve experienced the love of God for them as they were. They were not required to be or do anything to enjoy the presence of God, as they strolled together in the cool of the day, other than turn up.
When Satan came to Eve and talked to her, the first thing he sowed was self-doubt. “Did he REALLY say that? Are you sure you got that correct? Could you possibly be wrong?”
Shame was already creeping in. Eve believed that there was a tiny doubt that she may have got it wrong. After they ate they discovered that they were naked and they were ashamed.
They were not guilty, note; they were not feeling bad about what they had done, they were feeling bad about who they were.

It is my belief that Satan was/is filled with shame. He felt that he was not good enough, not acceptable. He passed that along to Eve when she believed him. Whether or not that is the case, it is certainly the case that they were shameful after they ate of the fruit. Shame had been passed down from generation to generation ever since.
There may have been actual events in your life which caused you to feel shame, but you could not feel what was not already there.  You had to already have shame residing in you for you to feel it. Shame was part of your old nature.

The antidote to shame is to know who we are. When we know who we are in Jesus there is no place for shame. We can look at our place in our human family or in the world around us and we can say, “I am not good enough. I am a failure. I do not fit in here. I should not be living” and there may even be some truth to those thoughts. BUT, when we look around at who we are in Jesus none of those thoughts have any right to exist.

When we are ‘in Jesus’ we only get what he deserves. We are no longer counted as a separate unit; what we deserve is neither here, nor there. We only get what he deserves.

So we have to change our frame of reference. Is he good enough? Is he a failure? Does he fit in heaven? Should he been living?
The answer to those questions is the answer for us too.

Isaiah 61:7 tells us that instead of our shame we will be given a double portion of joy.
When we see who we are in Christ we no longer have any space for shame, but we will be rejoicing in double measure.

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