Posted by: forfreedomalone | 24/02/2016


As I look around at today’s child rearing I wonder if parents have gone mad. I know every parent wants a better life for their child than they had. They want them to have all the ‘extras’ they didn’t and to be happier than they were.
But they seem to be going about it in a funny way.

I know several children under the age of 10, who are absolute brats. They are unbearable to be around as they demand all attention in a room, they want everything their way and they want everything now…..and worse…..they get it.
It seems as though their parents cannot say ‘No’.
One father told me that saying ‘No’ stifles a child. It caused them to suffer rejection and heartache. His daughter was to be given everything she wanted because this showed her how much he loved her.
He may indeed feel love towards her and he may, indeed, want the very best of everything for her, but he is not loving her, he is making her life harder and less fulfilling that it should be.

‘No’ is a vital word for a child to learn, as it sets boundaries.
If my child says “Can I have junk food for dinner?” and I say “No”, I am not denying the child something it needs for life, nor am I abusing it. I am setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries is a very important job of a loving parent because the boundaries say to a child “This is where you cease to be safe and under my care. If you venture beyond here I cannot take care of you.”
Children learn that when parents say ‘No’; provided they are not saying it to every request; that they can be trusted as safe people to be around. When parents always say ‘yes’, to everything, they are not to be trusted as the child never knows where ‘safe’ and ‘dangerous’ are. These children will always push the limits in every area in order to hear ‘No’ and know someone is taking care of them at last.

This principle, in the physical, is also applicable in the spiritual.
Our Heavenly Father, who knows HOW to love us, frequently says ‘No’ to us. Love does not allow its children to do as they please and pick up their mess thereafter, it teaches them how not to get in the mess in the first place.
Our Heavenly Father says ‘No’ to a whole list of things which are bad or downright dangerous for us; these things are called ‘sin’. Sin is not something which is nebulous or good things painted black, it is a number of things which will destroy us, and our relationship with him.

He wants to protect us from danger and so he says ‘No’ to adultery, lying, cheating etc.
We know when he says ‘No’ that if we venture into that area we will suffer. Not because he is punishing us, but because danger is lurked there and we went marching right into its den.

‘No’ also give US power, when we have learned what it means and why we would use it.
We have now learned that the territory beyond ‘No’ is not a place to be, so we can learn to apply those limits to ourselves. We can say ‘No’ to us. This is called self-discipline. We learn how to keep ourselves out of danger by saying ‘No’ to all the temptations to enter that dreaded lair. Our father’s training pays off when we are able to recognise danger and stay away from it by ourselves.

As we grow we learn that our Father says ‘No’ to keep us safe, even though we feel we are being unjustly denied or punished at the time. Then we learn that His ‘No’ had the effect he said it would, so we start applying it to ourselves. As we see this being of effect in keeping us safe we start to learn how to use it to ward off that danger. We learn how to say ‘No’ to others.

There are many times when friends or colleagues try to persuade us in a certain direction which would not be a good way to go. We need to know how to say ‘No’ to them. It may be serious like getting into a car with a drunk driver, or it may be much less so like going out with friends when we really need to rest, but whatever it is we must know how to say ‘No’.

Finally, we learn how to apply it to the demonic.
Learning the values of ‘No’ from early childhood (be it physical or spiritual childhood) means that we will be able to apply that ‘No’ to the demonic which seeks our destruction.
We now know that ‘No’ is a good word and we know we can say it to that which would only bring us harm. We are powerful against the powers and principalities which seek or wipe us off the face of the earth. We recognise their work and we can stand up and say ‘NO’ to them.

Do not be offended when God says ‘No’ to your requests. It is entirely true that he loves you more than life itself, but that love will not stand by and allow you to go galloping into danger. It will pull on the reigns and say ‘No’.
He gave us a list of dangerous activities so we would never wonder what was safe and what was not; it’s a handy aide memoire.
He gave it because he loves us, not to punish us, and his love will never be displayed to us by saying ‘Yes’ to anything he has already said ‘No’ to.

This unchanging standard allows us to know were safe with him.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: